Fun Fact about this Momb: I was born & raised in the beautiful city of Las Vegas! When I turned 19, I got a job working on The Strip & have been stuck in these golden handcuffs ever since. Today I am a server in a fine dining restaurant. This is certainly not my dream … Continue reading Pairing Kid Snacks with Adult Beverages
Dear Mom Shamers AKA Professional Mom, Perfect Parent Patty, Karen, etc. First off, I just want to congratulate you for being apart of the very small percentage of mothers who own the Official Motherhood Instruction Manual. You are apart of an elite group of mothers who, in times of uncertainty, have the ability to reference … Continue reading A Letter to the Mom Shamers
Today I cried. I cried hard. I sat at top of the staircase, covered my face, & cried. When he saw me start to come down the stairs, The Toddler ran behind the recliner to hide. He knew he wasn't allowed to have the cereal but there it was spilled all over the kitchen counter … Continue reading Today I cried.
After 2 hours⏰, 4 books📚, 7 songs🎵, 17 escape attempts🏃♂️, 13 tuck-ins🛌, 3 sippy cup refills🍼, 4 meltdowns😭, 2 plea bargains🙏 & .3mL of Benadryl☠... The Toddler is now kicking the wall to the beat of "We Will Rock You" & I'm stuck working nursery security until the Benadryl knocks his ass out. So yeah … Continue reading Bedtime with the Toddler
I read somewhere that the best way to clean a microwave is to put 1/4 cup lemon juice & 1/2 cup water in a microwavable bowl for 5 minutes. Then you let it sit for 2 minutes so the lemony steam gets all up in the remains of the Chef Boyardee & Spaghetti O explosions. … Continue reading Parasites Who Feed Off Brain Cells
Since we stream almost all of our movies, the Toddler is not familiar with DVD's or how they work... All he knows is that they are confusing & he HATES them. The Toddler thought the disc was a frisbee & the case was a book. So when I put his frisbee in the DVD player … Continue reading Today’s Meltdown Brought to You By a DVD
Let’s be real. This whole mom gig is the loneliest thing ever. How is it that we literally birthed our very own personal stalker & we feel more alone than ever? I mean this kid forces me to make eye contact while I’m taking a poop. It’s hard to rationalize these feelings of loneliness with … Continue reading The Mom Friend