Late to School Pickup: The Perspective of That Very Late, Very Tired Mom

So yeah, there’s a lot of things we do as moms and dads that we just don’t talk about. We all make mistakes, and for me, this was one I was not proud to admit. But after I told a handful of moms who have been moms a lot longer than I have, they all had their own version of “I didn’t pick my kid up on time.” Every single one of them.

Pairing Kid Snacks with Adult Beverages

Fun Fact about this Momb: I was born & raised in the beautiful city of Las Vegas! When I turned 19, I got a job working on The Strip & have been stuck in these golden handcuffs ever since. Today I am a server in a fine dining restaurant. This is certainly not my dream … Continue reading Pairing Kid Snacks with Adult Beverages

An Interview with The Toddler

"An Interview with The Toddler" Introducing the star of Ticking Time Momb: The Toddler! Meet Hendrix, the 3 year old turd bucket who is the inspirational force behind this blog!His favorite word is "poop," he loves to sing, & he is the sweetest, most silly guy I know!Have you ever interviewed your Toddler? I challenge … Continue reading An Interview with The Toddler

Potty Training is Hard

The Toddler has reached a new milestone! Now, when he poops in his diaper, it’s not just a little baby poop. It is a full-blown, real-human, diverse-diet poop. His poop is officially at an all time gross high and I don’t know how much more my nostrils/gag reflex can take. So we decided to start … Continue reading Potty Training is Hard

Bedtime with the Toddler

After 2 hours⏰, 4 books📚, 7 songs🎵, 17 escape attempts🏃‍♂️, 13 tuck-ins🛌, 3 sippy cup refills🍼, 4 meltdowns😭, 2 plea bargains🙏 & .3mL of Benadryl☠... The Toddler is now kicking the wall to the beat of "We Will Rock You" & I'm stuck working nursery security until the Benadryl knocks his ass out. So yeah … Continue reading Bedtime with the Toddler

Parasites Who Feed Off Brain Cells

I read somewhere that the best way to clean a microwave is to put 1/4 cup lemon juice & 1/2 cup water in a microwavable bowl for 5 minutes. Then you let it sit for 2 minutes so the lemony steam gets all up in the remains of the Chef Boyardee & Spaghetti O explosions. … Continue reading Parasites Who Feed Off Brain Cells

Today’s Meltdown Brought to You By a DVD

Since we stream almost all of our movies, the Toddler is not familiar with DVD's or how they work... All he knows is that they are confusing & he HATES them. The Toddler thought the disc was a frisbee & the case was a book. So when I put his frisbee in the DVD player … Continue reading Today’s Meltdown Brought to You By a DVD

The Mom Friend

Let’s be real. This whole mom gig is the loneliest thing ever. How is it that we literally birthed our very own personal stalker & we feel more alone than ever? I mean this kid forces me to make eye contact while I’m taking a poop. It’s hard to rationalize these feelings of loneliness with … Continue reading The Mom Friend