Late to School Pickup: The Perspective of That Very Late, Very Tired Mom

So yeah, there’s a lot of things we do as moms and dads that we just don’t talk about. We all make mistakes, and for me, this was one I was not proud to admit. But after I told a handful of moms who have been moms a lot longer than I have, they all had their own version of “I didn’t pick my kid up on time.” Every single one of them.

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Pairing Kid Snacks with Adult Beverages

Fun Fact about this Momb: I was born & raised in the beautiful city of Las Vegas! When I turned 19, I got a job working on The Strip & have been stuck in these golden handcuffs ever since. Today I am a server in a fine dining restaurant. This is certainly not my dream … Continue reading Pairing Kid Snacks with Adult Beverages

An Interview with The Toddler

"An Interview with The Toddler" Introducing the star of Ticking Time Momb: The Toddler! Meet Hendrix, the 3 year old turd bucket who is the inspirational force behind this blog!His favorite word is "poop," he loves to sing, & he is the sweetest, most silly guy I know!Have you ever interviewed your Toddler? I challenge … Continue reading An Interview with The Toddler

Potty Training is Hard

The Toddler has reached a new milestone! Now, when he poops in his diaper, it’s not just a little baby poop. It is a full-blown, real-human, diverse-diet poop. His poop is officially at an all time gross high and I don’t know how much more my nostrils/gag reflex can take. So we decided to start … Continue reading Potty Training is Hard

Bedtime with the Toddler

After 2 hours⏰, 4 books📚, 7 songs🎵, 17 escape attempts🏃‍♂️, 13 tuck-ins🛌, 3 sippy cup refills🍼, 4 meltdowns😭, 2 plea bargains🙏 & .3mL of Benadryl☠... The Toddler is now kicking the wall to the beat of "We Will Rock You" & I'm stuck working nursery security until the Benadryl knocks his ass out. So yeah … Continue reading Bedtime with the Toddler

Parasites Who Feed Off Brain Cells

I read somewhere that the best way to clean a microwave is to put 1/4 cup lemon juice & 1/2 cup water in a microwavable bowl for 5 minutes. Then you let it sit for 2 minutes so the lemony steam gets all up in the remains of the Chef Boyardee & Spaghetti O explosions. … Continue reading Parasites Who Feed Off Brain Cells

Today’s Meltdown Brought to You By a DVD

Since we stream almost all of our movies, the Toddler is not familiar with DVD's or how they work... All he knows is that they are confusing & he HATES them. The Toddler thought the disc was a frisbee & the case was a book. So when I put his frisbee in the DVD player … Continue reading Today’s Meltdown Brought to You By a DVD

The Mom Friend

Let’s be real. This whole mom gig is the loneliest thing ever. How is it that we literally birthed our very own personal stalker & we feel more alone than ever? I mean this kid forces me to make eye contact while I’m taking a poop. It’s hard to rationalize these feelings of loneliness with … Continue reading The Mom Friend