If you're someone who's struggling with a person in your life who suffers from severe depression, this one's for you❤
In honor of #MMHweek2020 ❤
"I Am The One Who Has To Live In My Head" by @tickingtimemomb
Being sad is not something I have a say in.
Being sad is not something I decided on.
One day, it was just there.
A continuous hum, like the long, low, droning of a pressurized airplane cabin. Ranging in volume. Some days louder than others.
At first, the humming would only happen if triggered.
The death of a dog. The betrayal of a friend. The loss of an opportunity.
But one day, being sad stopped being circumstantial.
The hum settled itself in at the base of my skull. Suddenly, it became constant. Relentlessly vibrating through me.
It is not something I chose.
It chose me.
I got my sadness the same way people get their red hair, or attached ear lobes.
My sadness was decided for me, by an unfortunate genetic chemical imbalance. My mother, her mother, and her mother's mother were riddled with sadness, too.
And whether we like it or not, it's just how we are.
Sadness is part of who we are.
It's part of who I am.
Sometimes it's half of me.
Sometimes it's all of me.
Everyday, I have to make a conscious effort to keep the hum quiet.
Every day, I have to force myself to redirect my thoughts.
But then life happens, and sometimes life gets hard and I get tired.
So, so tired.
And that's when starts to get loud.
The hum reverberates off the walls of my skull and rattles my bones.
It fills my head like helium in a balloon until eventually it bursts.
I am the one who has to battle against my own mind.
I am the one that has to hear that god awful roar at the base of my skull.
I am the one who has to live in here.
When this total consumption happens, I have to use an enormous amount of energy to get myself out of it, which leaves me with little to no energy for anything else.
For anyone else.
So while I try and figure out the best way to manage sadness, please be forgiving.
Please be soft.
Please be kind.
Know that being sad is not a trendy lifestyle choice.
Know that I am trying, and remember that I am the one who has to live in my head.
Motherhood is really, REALLY freakin’ hard. You've heard me say that about 1000x. Being a mom has never been natural for me and I have a tendency to openly bitch about all things motherhood.
Well, last year, I was hit with a hard reality check that I definitely needed.
It was like I had gotten yanked out of my warm, comfortable bed and thrown into an ice cold pool.
The reality was that within two weeks, two mothers who had been fellow classmates of mine, tragically lost their newborn children.
There are no words, there is no repair. I want to think that because I’m also a mother I could offer some kind of comfort, but I can’t.
Sure, motherhood is hard. It’s the hardest job in the world. And it's okay to be honest about that. The key is not to allow yourself to focus solely on the inconveniences of having a kid. Keep your Mama Sisters in your heart for moments like this.
Be grateful for those “blog material” moments. Embrace the craziness. If it gets too hard, reach out. Be honest about the bad & celebrate the good. You’re not alone, Mama.
Most importantly, stay humble. Love your fellow Mama’s & lift them up. You never know just how hard motherhood is for someone else. Be kind. Be soft. We’re in this together.
Photo credit @pinkelephantssupport
#bereavedmother #bereavement #bereavedparents #bereavedmothersday
#momsupportingmoms #motherhood #mothersday #momblogger #vegasmoms
Toddlers are experts in creating the most uncomfortable and awkward situations.
For example, going to the grocery store used to be one of mine and the 2 year old's favorite things to do together.
We would usually go towards the end of our day to burn some energy before bedtime... ...or when I start feeling guilty that all I've fed the poor kid is fruit snacks and cheese sticks all day.
The toddler would make conversation with every... single... person we saw.
He would greet everyone with a confident "HI!" The grocery patrons ate it up.
But just like most toddlers do, he took something so good and MADE IT SO SO WRONG.
On our most recent outing, the toddler addresses every... single... person we see with a new greeting: "HELP!!!" I try and laugh it off... ask him to stop. "STOP!!! HELP!!!" *grocery patrons glare* "STOP!!! MAMA?!? HELP!!! HHEELLPPPP!!!!" It's almost 8PM on a Tuesday.
I'm aimlessly wondering around Costco with a barefoot, mismatched, dirty child who might as well have come out of his fathers ass since he looks nothing like me.
Now my anxiety is all like, "hey bud just so you know they think you're a child abductor... that lady on her phone is probably calling the cops... also now you have pit stains how embarrassing." I pry the crotch goblin out of the seat, ditched the full cart of groceries, and briskly get the hell out of there.
Once we were safe in the soundproof car, I was all "BRO WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HELL WAS THAT ABOUT!!??" "Paw Patrol!" He clapped. "Yelp for help! MAMA PAW PATROL HELPPP NO JOB TOO BIG! HELP!" I'm going to wring that Ryder kids neck.
Anyone else's kids put them in awkward ass situations?? Share yours in the comments! 👇👇👇
**Written by Taylor Halfpenny @tickingtimemomb #momfail #toddlerlife #pawpatrol #costco #realmom #motherhoodintheraw #momhumor #momlife #realmom #toddlermom #motherhood #parenthood
