He "laughs in the face of danger," if you will. There are times that we allow him to test the boundaries of safety-ness. By "allow," I mean that we've already warned him several times against whatever injury-inflicting activity he's doing & he's blatantly ignoring us. So fine. Do your cool jump off the couch & … Continue reading The Two Year Old has no concept of safety.
If you're here thinking you're about to read about some crazy diet trick about corn & coffee, well then you're probably new hereBecause if you're familiar with this Ticking Time Momb, you'd know good & well the only "diet trick" I know is:"Get the organic fruit snacks instead of the regular ones, that way when … Continue reading Not Your Mother’s Diet Trick
...that are slowly eating away at my sanity... For example: The Toddler begged me for this Lightning McQueen chicken noodle soup Which I happily prepared for him because OMG HE IS FINALLY WILLING TO EAT SOMETHING OTHER THAN BLUEBERRIES & CHEEZ-ITZ. Well, now it's raining Lightning McQueen noodles in my dining room & all the … Continue reading It’s the little things the Toddler does…
I should start by saying I freaking LOVE Moana. The character, the movie, the story line, the soundtrack. I love how Moana is a strong, independent woman WHO DON'T NEED NO MAN & has more sass than my 73 year old southern grandma. But you know what I love about Moana more than anything? When … Continue reading Can we just talk about Moana for a second?
Do you know how hard it is to feel like a bad ass when listening to Raffi? I recently upgraded the Mom Taxi to a MILF Wagon. Manual transmission, spitfire orange, brand spanking new... I thought I was the coolest mom in the carpool rotation. But when you roll up blasting "Down By the Bay" … Continue reading Raffi
My hair is a hot diggity mess 93% of the time. But if I don't pull a brush through my 47lbs of thick, frizzy, Italian hair every once in a while, anyone who looks at me turns to stone. So imagine my horror when my ONLY HAIRBRUSH GOES MISSING. One minute, the Toddler was using … Continue reading I already don’t brush my hair enough as it is.
So when the Toddler dramatically spills himself upon the staircase with his blankie & starts groaning, "MOMMMMMMM... GO BEDDDDDDDDD...." He's just a precious sleepy angel. But when I dramatically spill myself upon the staircase & beg for bed, I'm just an embarrassing lightweight. Apparently having 2 1/2 glasses of wine & a lack of depth … Continue reading Mom Discrimination
When someone asks me when we are having another baby, I show them this picture. At first, you see my disgusting, neglected, filthy backseat. You can practically smell the curdled milk that has crystallized into the cloth interior. Stale Cheerios and miscellaneous snacks are littered throughout & smashed into every crevice. There's even a refugee … Continue reading Birth Control.