I read somewhere that the best way to clean a microwave is to put 1/4 cup lemon juice & 1/2 cup water in a microwavable bowl for 5 minutes. Then you let it sit for 2 minutes so the lemony steam gets all up in the remains of the Chef Boyardee & Spaghetti O explosions. … Continue reading Parasites Who Feed Off Brain Cells
Since we stream almost all of our movies, the Toddler is not familiar with DVD's or how they work... All he knows is that they are confusing & he HATES them. The Toddler thought the disc was a frisbee & the case was a book. So when I put his frisbee in the DVD player … Continue reading Today’s Meltdown Brought to You By a DVD
Let’s be real. This whole mom gig is the loneliest thing ever. How is it that we literally birthed our very own personal stalker & we feel more alone than ever? I mean this kid forces me to make eye contact while I’m taking a poop. It’s hard to rationalize these feelings of loneliness with … Continue reading The Mom Friend
Sometimes that honest truth about motherhood really is brutal, & it definitely isn't funny. Alright, settle in. Setting the sarcasm & silliness aside this time. It turns out motherhood is freakin' hard. I mean that's my niche, right. That's the whole reason why I started writing Ticking Time Momb in the first place! Exposing motherhood. … Continue reading The Brutal Truth
He "laughs in the face of danger," if you will. There are times that we allow him to test the boundaries of safety-ness. By "allow," I mean that we've already warned him several times against whatever injury-inflicting activity he's doing & he's blatantly ignoring us. So fine. Do your cool jump off the couch & … Continue reading The Two Year Old has no concept of safety.
If you're here thinking you're about to read about some crazy diet trick about corn & coffee, well then you're probably new hereBecause if you're familiar with this Ticking Time Momb, you'd know good & well the only "diet trick" I know is:"Get the organic fruit snacks instead of the regular ones, that way when … Continue reading Not Your Mother’s Diet Trick
...that are slowly eating away at my sanity... For example: The Toddler begged me for this Lightning McQueen chicken noodle soup Which I happily prepared for him because OMG HE IS FINALLY WILLING TO EAT SOMETHING OTHER THAN BLUEBERRIES & CHEEZ-ITZ. Well, now it's raining Lightning McQueen noodles in my dining room & all the … Continue reading It’s the little things the Toddler does…
I should start by saying I freaking LOVE Moana. The character, the movie, the story line, the soundtrack. I love how Moana is a strong, independent woman WHO DON'T NEED NO MAN & has more sass than my 73 year old southern grandma. But you know what I love about Moana more than anything? When … Continue reading Can we just talk about Moana for a second?