A Letter to the Professional Moms

Dear "Professional Moms," (To clarify, by "Professional" Mom I mean the "Mom Shamers," the "perfect," flawless, know-it-all, nosey social media moms. This is no way referencing a working mom, such as myself😊) First off, I just want to congratulate you for being apart of the very small percentage of mothers who own the Official Motherhood…

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Bedtime with the Toddler

After 2 hours⏰, 4 books📚, 7 songs🎵, 17 escape attempts🏃‍♂️, 13 tuck-ins🛌, 3 sippy cup refills🍼, 4 meltdowns😭, 2 plea bargains🙏 & .3mL of Benadryl☠... The Toddler is now kicking the wall to the beat of "We Will Rock You" & I'm stuck working nursery security until the Benadryl knocks his ass out. So yeah…

Mom Life: Counting Down the Seconds until Inevitable Detonation

The name Ticking Time Momb symbolizes the anger, aggravation, & frustration that comes with being a mom. Moms are constantly seconds away from detonation. We really do try to defuse the bomb most of the time. Oftentimes we successfully clip the correct disarming wire👏👍 But if you're anything like me, there are days you don't…

Tips for Visiting the New Mom of 2

While I’m still here dry swallowing birth control pills mid panic attack in the pharmacy drive-thru, My wonderful Mom Friend & her husband welcomed their second beautiful child into the world! Since my 2 year old is a walking, talking contraceptive, I plan on using their baby to satisfy my baby hunger. It’s awesome. I…

An Innocent Fall Tradition Causes Toddler Irreversible Psychological Damage.

Ahh, fall is the most beautful time of year. The leaves are changing, the air is cooling, harvest festivites are in full swing.... What a perfect time to cause irreversible psychological & emotional damage on a 2 year old. The phrase "DAY-DAYS" translates to the word "PUMPKIN"*** Fast forward 30 years... The Toddler, now a…