Welp, I did it.
I have officially earned my “SUCKY MOM” badge.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes as a mom but this time I screwed up big time.
Last Thursday, I had one job. ONE JOB: Pick the Toddler up from school.
So after drop off I figured I’d try and get a good nap in.
I had like 2+ hours to kill.
And it was such a good nap. Like the kind of nap with the blackout curtains, an empty house, the whole shi-bang.
It was so good that I somehow managed to shut off all 3 of my alarms without waking up.
Eventually my not-so-trusty mom-insticts kicked in but it was too late.
30 minutes late, to be exact because when I finally woke up it was 2 god damn 30.
I needed to be awake at 2:00PM at the LATEST.
I live 20 minutes from the preschool.
I decided to go braless and pantless for the nap and apparently every pair of pants I owned evaporated during said slumber.
I searched for pants like a crazy blind person for 3 minutes until I hastily grabbed a pair of the husband’s basketball shorts.
Screw the bra.
Rushed out to my car.
Can’t see. Glasses. Where are my damn glasses.
Ran back inside, up the stairs, find the glasses, ran back down the stairs.
Grabbed husbands hoodie to hide the braless nipples.
Back in car. Started driving.
And crying. Lots of crying.
I called and promised I was only 10 minutes away (was definitely a solid 17 minutes away).
Finally when I got to school, I ran up the steps and ran into the office where the 3 year old sat patiently waiting.
Picture, if you will, a crazed, sweaty woman with Medusa hair, last night’s makeup smeared down her face, wearing saggy basketball shorts, and an oversized dirty sweatshirt. Would you give a child to this woman?
No, you probably shouldn’t.
But lucky for me, this office lady did.
She gave me one of those “bless your heart” smiles and sent us on our way.
The best part (or worst, depending on who you ask), was while I carried the Toddler down the stairs back to the car, I was so hysterical that I literally FELL down the stairs.
FELL. DOWN. THE. STAIRS.
I completely missed a step, folded my ankle in half, and landed HARD on my knees, then elbow, then shoulder.
Somehow I managed to set down the Toddler before the tumble, and he was just looking at me like “Bro, can we PLEASE just get it together?”
So yeah, there’s a lot of things we do as moms and dads that we just don’t talk about.
We all make mistakes, and for me, this was one I was not proud to admit.
But after I told a handful of moms who have been moms a lot longer than I have, they all had their own version of “I didn’t pick my kid up on time.”
Every single one of them.
When I told my husband, he said “well once you stop beating yourself up, that story would be perfect for your blog.”
Moral #1 of the story: When you become a parent, you will inevitably be late picking them up from somewhere. Like really late. And you’re going to feel like a piece of hot garbage for it. Just remember us parents are sleep deprived, malnourished, dehydrated human beings. We all make mistakes. We all screw up. If we talk about our flaws more often, maybe we wouldn’t feel so crappy when mistakes happen.
Moral #2 of the story: Don’t take naps without pants.