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Bedtime with the Toddler

February 7, 2019 ~ tickingtimemomb

After 2 hours⏰, 4 books📚, 7 songs🎵, 17 escape attempts🏃‍♂️, 13 tuck-ins🛌, 3 sippy cup refills🍼, 4 meltdowns😭, 2 plea bargains🙏 & .3mL of Benadryl☠…

The Toddler is now kicking the wall to the beat of “We Will Rock You” & I’m stuck working nursery security until the Benadryl knocks his ass out.

So yeah I’d say bedtime is going pretty well tonight

💀💀💀

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Posted in Humor, Lifestyle, Mom Blog, Motherhood Humor Lifestyle momblog momfail Momlife Motherhood Parenthood Toddlers

Published by tickingtimemomb

Motherhood Exposed | Raw. Sarcastic. Witty. Brutally Honest. View all posts by tickingtimemomb

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"I Am The One Who Has To Live In My Head" 🖤🖤🖤 Being sad is not something I have a say in. Being sad is not something I decided on. One day, it was just there. A continuous hum, like the long, low, droning of a pressurized airplane cabin. Ranging in volume. Some days louder than others. At first, the humming would only happen if triggered. The death of a dog. The betrayal of a friend. The loss of an opportunity. But one day, being sad stopped being circumstantial. The hum settled itself in at the base of my skull. Suddenly, it became constant. Relentlessly vibrating through me. It is not something I chose. It chose me. I got my sadness the same way people get their red hair, or attached ear lobes. My sadness was decided for me, by an unfortunate genetic chemical imbalance. My mother, her mother, and her mother's mother were riddled with sadness, too. And whether we like it or not, it's just how we are. Sadness is part of who we are. It's part of who I am. Sometimes it's half of me. Sometimes it's all of me. Everyday, I have to make a conscious effort to keep the hum quiet. Every day, I have to force myself to redirect my thoughts. But then life happens, and sometimes life gets hard and I get tired. So, so tired. And that's when starts to get loud. The hum reverberates off the walls of my skull and rattles my bones. It fills my head like helium in a balloon until eventually it bursts. I am the one who has to battle against my own mind. I am the one that has to hear that god awful roar at the base of my skull. I am the one who has to live in here. When this total consumption happens, I have to use an enormous amount of energy to get myself out of it, which leaves me with little to no energy for anything else. For anyone else. So while I try and figure out the best way to manage sadness, please be forgiving. Please be soft. Please be kind. Know that being sad is not a trendy lifestyle choice. Know that I am trying, and remember that I am the one who has to live in my head. **share if you relate and to help others understand what it's like to live with sadness ❤💥**

A behind the scenes look at what it's like when a Momb uses the toilet💩 🙄 . . . #assholeparent #mommy #momblog #momlife #mommyblogger #motherhoodunplugged #momsofinstagram #mamablogger #badmom #instamom #parenthood #momswhoblog #dailyparenting #toddlerlife #tiredmom #mommydiaries #motherhoodexposed #realmom #honestmomminute #momproblems

This is how we feel about this amazing park weather 😍🌞 Raise your hand if you went to the park today too🙋‍♀️

This flattering picture is brought to you by that one time I napped too hard and was like 45 minutes late picking up my 3 year old from preschool.... It was one of those hysterical moments when suddenly your brain forgets how to cell phone and you're just punching buttons until you eventually hit the right one. Read all about it on my blog/Facebook page! Link in bio❤💥 If you need some enticing here's an excerpt for ya: "...Picture, if you will, a crazed, sweaty woman with Medusa hair, last night’s makeup smeared down her face, wearing saggy basketball shorts, and an oversized dirty sweatshirt. Would you give a child to this woman? No, you probably shouldn’t. But lucky for me, this office lady did. Her and my sons teacher were very sweet and both gave me one of those “bless your heart” smiles and sent us on our way. The best part, was while I carried the Toddler down the stairs back to the car, I was so hysterical and in such a frenzy that I literally FELL down the stairs. FELL. DOWN. THE. STAIRS." Like I said, link's in the bio👍 Have you ever been late picking your kids up? Tell me your version of "Shit, I forgot my kid!"

On this day two years ago, I launched the Ticking Time Momb FB page. I did it from my phone while at work waiting for my table to sign their freakin check so I could finally start closing the restaurant. For some reason I decided that the right time to launch my blog was right then, after 10PM on a Monday. *Narrator* “That was not the right time to launch her blog.” I don’t think I even knew what a blog was (still don’t), or how to start one, or manage it (still don’t). I had absolutely no game plan at all (yeah still don't). At that point, all I had was a blog name & a whole list of reasons why being a mom totally sucked. Figuring out the logistics of the blog probably should have been my first priority... but it wasn’t. My concern was that moms everywhere, on social media & in life, were in desperate need of honesty. So instead of worrying about all the crap I hadn’t figured out yet, I simply started doing the thing I’ve always known how to do: write. So I started writing the truth. Brutal truth. Not just my truth, but our truth. Now here I am, 2 years later, & I still have no idea what I’m doing or where this blog is going to take me. I haven’t made a single dime & I have the saddest website traffic you’ve ever seen. Every press release I’ve sent has gone ignored & every collaboration pitch I’ve sent has been denied. Ya girl can’t even get a freakin’ free sticker or t-shirt. Yet here we are two years later & the words I have written have reached over 20 million people from just my FB page alone. My writing has been featured on several major publications, nationally & internationally. 9 months ago I had maybe 500 FB followers. Today over 35,000 FB users (& counting) follow Ticking Time Momb. Guess the whole brutal honesty thing worked out pretty well afterall, huh? Eventually I’ll figure out what I’m doing & I’ll finally become the famous, rich writer I’ve always dreamt of being… But until then, my writings are for any mom who needs it. I don’t write Ticking Time Momb for money or collaborations or brand rep opportunities. I write Ticking Time Momb for the moms. I write for you. Thank you. So so much. All my love, Taylor ❤💥

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