Parasites Who Feed Off Brain Cells

I read somewhere that the best way to clean a microwave is to put 1/4 cup lemon juice & 1/2 cup water in a microwavable bowl for 5 minutes.

Then you let it sit for 2 minutes so the lemony steam gets all up in the remains of the Chef Boyardee & Spaghetti O explosions.

Well I decided to give it a whirl but instead of letting it sit for 2 minutes…

I LEFT THE DAMN MAGIC LEMON WATER SITTING IN THE MICROWAVE FOR 8 FREAKIN HOURS.

IT IS 1AM & I JUST REALIZED THERE HAS BEEN A BOWL OF CITRUS POTION IN THE MICROWAVE SINCE 5PM.

In retrospect, this would have been much more interesting if I actually microwaved lemon water for 8 hours.

But no, I’m just sitting here looking at my dirty ass microwave feeling slightly amused or mostly disturbed by the steady decline of my attention span…

THE MORAL OF THE STORY: babies are parasites who feed off brain cells until there’s nothing left but scrambled brains & an attention deficit disorder, so don’t forget to take your birth control.

“SQUIRREL!!!”

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