Parasites Who Feed Off Brain Cells

I read somewhere that the best way to clean a microwave is to put 1/4 cup lemon juice & 1/2 cup water in a microwavable bowl for 5 minutes.

Then you let it sit for 2 minutes so the lemony steam gets all up in the remains of the Chef Boyardee & Spaghetti O explosions.

Well I decided to give it a whirl but instead of letting it sit for 2 minutes…

I LEFT THE DAMN MAGIC LEMON WATER SITTING IN THE MICROWAVE FOR 8 FREAKIN HOURS.

IT IS 1AM & I JUST REALIZED THERE HAS BEEN A BOWL OF CITRUS POTION IN THE MICROWAVE SINCE 5PM.

In retrospect, this would have been much more interesting if I actually microwaved lemon water for 8 hours.

But no, I’m just sitting here looking at my dirty ass microwave feeling slightly amused or mostly disturbed by the steady decline of my attention span…

THE MORAL OF THE STORY: babies are parasites who feed off brain cells until there’s nothing left but scrambled brains & an attention deficit disorder, so don’t forget to take your birth control.

“SQUIRREL!!!”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.